Blah blah blog!

Purpose

2011-03-24T04:32:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in a while. I really haven't had the time or motivation. As some of you may know, I began Nursing Anesthesia school back in January of this year (2011). I probably don't have the time for this, but I'm hoping that it may be somewhat therapeutic. This is about me, but I hope you can relate.

I commute back and forth from my home in Maiden to Asheville just about every week. I spend the weekdays up here and generally go back home for the weekend. During those days when I'm here in Asheville, I sometimes get, well, lonely. I miss my wife, and I miss my kids, and I miss my Mom and Dad, my brothers and their families. My kids have grown up and away from me, in ways that are natural and not unexpected. I guess I may be experiencing the feelings that lead some men, and women I guess, to a mid-life crisis. It's just that my circumstances mask the "normality" of it. We guys build a house, raise a family and then when that's kind of winding down, we're like, "What now?" My "what now" is taking on this educational goal of becoming a Nurse Anesthetist. I guess in a way, I'm lucky that I did this, whether meant for the intention of new purpose or not, because purposeless-ness is a soul killer.

But I feel out of my element here at times. This is so scientific. It really is like they're training me to be a scientist. I like science. I like learning new things. And this is challenging my ability to learn like I have never known. It is by far the hardest thing I've ever done.

I have a very artsy side to me though. One that I keep under a cloak most of the time, because "the folks back home" wouldn't understand. It manages to come out in my warped sense of humor sometimes, and then folks just think I'm weird. That's OK. I am a little. I like to write songs and have written perhaps hundreds, certainly dozens. No one hears them much. Wrong culture zone for them to be appreciated. Or then again, they might just suck. I don't guess I'll ever know. I would have liked to have toured with a band when I was younger. I had the opportunity in my middle 20's and didn't because of the obligations I had to my wife and kids. I don't regret that decision at all. With God's guidance through the years, they are the product of mine and Julie's (my wife) life work up to this point, and I'm very proud of them. Life's just too short, and it would have been nice to see what would have become of it if I had taken those guys up on that offer. If nothing else just for the memories and experiences. Who knows, we might have played Lallapalooza or some other festival, toured with Nirvana or played a concert to the crowd outside the Good Morning America show. Doubt it, but again, who knows?

But here I am slaving away with books and graphs and tables and numbers. I look forward to the freedom that this profession will allow me once I've made my way into it. I know I'm gonna love the job. Maybe I can start another band and hit the road. We'll see!

The Boar's Head

2010-08-10T16:48:00.000-07:00

Really had never heard about this place, but someone in our party had and said it had a great reputation. I understand why. The restaurant has these old timbers on the ceiling and rock/cement walls. So it feels like it comes from the middle ages. The service was great, the beer was cold and the food...oh my Lord, the food was absolutely wonderful. I had the shrimp and grits. It was my first time. What a great way to lose your shrimp and grit virginity. I can't imagine that it will ever get any better than this. My friends had the chicken alfredo with prosciutto, stuffed grouper, and stuffed shrimp and we all tried each others. My God it was good. The only down side at all is that it averaged about $25/plate. So it was pricey, but if any meal ever was worth it, this one was. If you're ever in Savannah and find yourself on River Street. Go. You won't regret it.

The Blame Game

2010-06-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

We've all seen the images of the oil belching from the bottom of the ocean like a cloud of sewage into the water around it. We've seen the pictures and live images of oil soaked birds gasping for air as they struggle to stay alive. For most, if not all of us, these images fill us with sadness. This morning I witnessed a woman I work with crying as the images came across the television on the morning news. I personally get so disgusted sometimes that I truly and literally feel like I want to vomit. We wonder what the implications of this will be for our children, our grandchildren, and ourselves. As computer models and scientists predict scenarios (SEE THIS LINK) that show the oil moving out of the Gulf, into the Atlantic and up the East Coast, God only knows what catastrophes lie ahead for the well known and loved coasts of Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina and possibly even beyond. I hope, none. I hope like hell they’re wrong. I grew up going to the beaches along the Grand Strand of South Carolina, and later took my family there nearly each year. I can't hardly bear the thoughts of globs of oil washing ashore where my boys as toddlers and beyond used to walk in their little bare feet and pick up sea shells, or chase minnows, seagulls, frisbees, footballs and girls.
I see the outrage that many have directed toward one entity or another. BP seems to be taking the brunt of the blame, as it was their oil rig that has caused this disaster. I’ve seen and heard comments that blame the Bush/Cheney administration for their coziness with the oil industry that may have led to some of the lax safety standards that allowed the rig to fail. What may possibly be even worse is the obvious lack of preparedness or plan to contain the spill and minimize the damage. Whether this was the result of a buddy-buddy relationship may never be known. I’ve noted folks saying that the Obama administration has been too slow to react, reacted for the wrong reasons, and that their reaction once it came was not forceful or strong enough. Everyone, it seems, has an opinion on who’s to blame for the worse environmental disaster in the history of the United States. The following is mine.
The truth is we all share blame in this. It's our attitude of gotta have, gonna have, must have that got us to this spill. Soccer mom's driving by themselves to and from work in an SUV that gets 10-12 mpg, when a sedan that gets 25-30 would work just as well, are to blame. Our disregard and disinterest in what it takes for us Americans to enjoy the standard of living that we have is to blame. BP is the devil in this example. But they're only giving us what we demand, like a dealer to a junkie. And if it weren't them or this particular incident, it would have been some other company at some later date, eventually. Someone's gotta feed the monster that our society has created. And worst of all, something like this will happen again if we don't change our energy sources and/or reduce our demand. I just hope that when this nightmare is over, that it is the wake up call we needed to get our priorities in order.
Someone might respond and say, “We never asked for them to do this so irresponsibly,” maybe not, directly. But indirectly we have. By demanding that our fuel be cheap and readily available, we inevitably force shortcuts and risk taking. What in the world are we doing drilling a mile below the ocean’s surface for oil to begin with? My God, it seems a miracle that something like this hasn’t happened before now, several times.
I don’t have the answers and solutions to all these problems. But I do have some thoughts on the subject. I just know what I see and think to be obvious. One is that burning fossil fuels is dirty. I don’t think anyone disputes that. If you turn your car on in a closed area, such as a garage, and you remain there, and leave it running you will die from the fumes. That is a bad thing. I don’t think anyone disputes that either. We keep burning more and more of it, spewing it in the air we breathe. It just seems insane to me. It was one thing when we didn’t know better. But we have no excuse now. We do know better. We need to quit subsidizing oil companies and start subsidizing wind, solar and other types of clean sustainable energy companies. We need to step back from the mini-bus sized automobiles that we drive, when they’re not necessary, and move into vehicles that get better mileage, until a mobility alternative is reached. When we can we need to walk, or bike. We need to encourage mass transit and better city planning that allows for people to be able to use light rail or subways to get back and forth. We don’t have to sacrifice everything. Just starting with the most obvious and common sense things would be good, would be better, would be a step in the right direction.
I know I’m bound to offend or weird someone out with this little diatribe, but so be it. At 42 years old, I feel like at least half my life is over. What have I done to contribute to the next generations? Have I left things for them better or as good as I knew them? Looking at the oily birds and sand, and realizing my small but real part in that, I can’t really say for sure that I have. It wasn’t intentional you know. Life just happens.
Regardless of how bad things may seem, it isn't too late to do something about this. It will take time, but things will recover to some degree of normalcy, eventually. See this link for a little dash of hope http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/meast/06/04/kuwait.oil.spill/index.html In the meantime, as life goes on, it's time to stop playing the blame game, and start looking to make a difference right here at home and with ourselves.

Telisomo's Continuing Adventure

2010-01-18T02:20:00.000-08:00

Well after he thought about the night crawlers and the spotted starling for a while, Telisomo decided to work on the melody again. He was just about to pull his shinbone across his wing when he heard a shrill sound coming from behind the farmer’s house. It sounded as though something was in distress. He perked up his antennae, twitched them back and forth, and leaned to one side for a better listen. For a while he strained his ears, but he didn’t hear anything. He paused for a bit, and was about to start his song again, when he heard the shrill sound again. This time he decided to come down from the red oak tree and hop around for a closer look. So down he came into the grass. It was cool and moist on his feet as he clung from blade to blade making his way behind the farmer’s house. He saw Jackson the horned beetle munching on some old apple core that someone had thrown out. A little farther and Parsey the garter snake came slithering by on his way to the garden for a try at some earthworms. Telisomo started to tell Parsey that there were some night crawlers on the concrete, but he remembered that Parsey and his kin sometimes had a taste for crickets too, so he thought better of it. On he went hopping from blade of grass to blade of grass and the occasional stalk of dandelion puff. They made Telisomo sneeze, so he was careful not to breathe too deeply when he was near. Finally, he rounded the corner of the farmer’s house and there he jumped up on an azalea bush to get a better look and listen. He could smell the flowers in the window box that the farmer’s wife had planted. Mmm mmm mmm, what a treat! Telisomo twitched his antennae back and forth, cocked his head to the side, he leaned out for a listen, and there it was again; a shrill sound coming from under the old smokehouse. Quickly, he hopped down to the ground and began crawling over to the foundation of the smokehouse. He briefly stopped for another listen, and not hearing anything he began climbing up onto the wall. He climbed up a ways and came to a knothole and peered inside. The sunlight was cutting its way through the planks on the other side of the building and Telisomo could see the dust floating lazily in the air. What he saw next startled him. Below him on the floor were 4 mice moving around. Two were climbing the legs of a short stool. The other two were locked arm-in-arm and standing on the end of 12-inch ruler. The ruler was laid half way across a thread thimble as if it were a seesaw. Telisomo watched with curiosity as the scene unfolded underneath his eyes. The two mice climbing to the top of the stool linked their arms together and jumped down onto the other end of the ruler. As they did so the other mice flipped backwards arm-in-arm into a pile of strips of cotton cloth that the farmer used for burning in his beehive smokers. As they flew in the air Telisomo recognized the shrill sound that their voices made as they cried out in joy. The mice traded places and the stunt was performed again. On and on they played and what fun they seemed to be having.
Telisomo climbed back down the wall and over to the azalea bush where he had been before. He looked up at the window box with the sweet smelling flowers. He took an extra big leap and landed on the flowers. He began to eat the pollen that each petal contained. He filled his belly and looked inside the window into the kitchen of the house. Inside sat the farmer and his wife eating their dinner. Telisomo watched their eyes as they took in each mouthful and paused between bites to talk. They seemed happy, he thought. He turned around and looked out into the back yard of the farmhouse into the horse lot where old oak trees stood. There on a limb sitting, staring watchfully was a very large red-tail hawk. It peered side to side and round and round as if looking for something lost on the ground. At this time out came the mice from the front of the smokehouse. They were blocked from the view of the hawk but as they rounded the corner to head in the direction of the chicken house, the hawk spied their movements. Telisomo listened to the mice’s conversation as they made their way across the farmyard and noted how careless they were for being out in the open during the daylight hours. They were talking about how the chicken’s scratch feed would make a nice midday meal. When they were about halfway across the open space, the hawk swooped down on them like a bolt of lightening. They scurried in all directions as the hawk grabbed at them with his sharp talons. Their shrill voices squealed in horror as they ran this way and that trying to escape the clutches of the hawk. One made it back to the smokehouse. Another went into a box that the farmer had lying on the ground. Still another made it to the chicken house. The last one darted left and right and back and forth and the hawk lost many tail feathers as he tried to grab hold of the mouse. Finally the mouse made it to the wood shed at the back of the chicken house. Telisomo watched as the dejected hawk flew back to his perch. He also watched as inside the woodshed, the farmer’s cat pounced down from the woodpile onto the mouse and ate him. Telisomo followed the cat with his eyes as he strutted casually up the side of the house and out of view. Telisomo decided that two more things (among others) in this world are true. Shrill sounds can convey many different emotions and cats can be very opportunistic.

Powder Solvent

2009-11-18T19:53:00.000-08:00

Ok....so it's been a while since I last posted anything. I thought it might be good to post some useful, I mean truly useful information on here, as opposed to just my opinion on one topic or another. So, with it being hunting season and so forth, I thought it would be good, for the hunters out there in cyber land, to post a recipe for powder solvent. I have only used this for muzzleloaders that shot either Pyrodex or just plain black powder, and mostly Pyrodex. It works extremely well for me and I thought it would be nice to pass it along. Quite simply it is 3 parts of common liquids that most homes have on the shelf. It is as follows:

1 part isopropyl alcohol (clear)
1 part hydrogen peroxide
1 part Murphy's oil soap

The nice thing about it is you can make as much or as little as you like. I never rinse it. I just come back over whatever part of the gun I've used it on with either Bore Butter or gun oil. I use it until the barrel swabs get clean. It saves for years, literally. For example, I had forgotten the recipe and had to call my cousin to get it again. It had been about 10 years since I had made the last. I usually make about a liter at a time.

I gotta give credit to my cousin Karry Poovey who remembered this recipe. He tells me that Howard Cline had told him about it years ago.

Places I've visited

2009-08-11T13:57:00.001-07:00

Create your own travel map or travel blog

Deals on airline tickets at TripAdvisor

You Remain Beautiful

2009-07-31T08:37:00.000-07:00

Streams of feelings become the rushing torrents of passion that melt into the ocean of our heart’s domain.

You remain beautiful to me.

The winding roads of life’s adventures become the experiences we cherish or the memories we wish to forget.

You remain beautiful to me.

The moments of love we shared between us have become the children we cherish.

You remain beautiful to me.

The people who ebb in and out of life may become the jewels of friendship or fade into the dust of forgetfulness.

You remain beautiful to me.

We may become weathered from the years and bent from the weight of time but I will love you and you'll remain beautiful to me.

Happy Anniversary Julie!

Mwandi Newsletter

2009-07-10T09:31:00.000-07:00

Below is the letter of update that Keith and Ida Waddell (pictured) sent from the mission in Mwandi, Zambia where I and some other students and teachers visited in 2006. For those of you who do not know Keith and Ida, they are Scottish. He is a teacher and she is a nurse. They both use their training and live at the mission in the village of Mwandi. They have 3 children and one of them, Gregor, is mentioned. The adoption they are discussing is a small baby that is HIV positive that they are attempting to adopt as there was no one to care for him otherwise. Keith is the writer.

Dear Family and Friends

Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil, your lips from speaking lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. Psalm 34:12-14

Thank you all for remembering Ida’s birthday and sending cards. It is always a delight when we open the mail box in Livingstone and see mail for us amongst the piles of buff business envelopes for the various Mission Departments. We also enjoy keeping in touch through your letters and the Church Newsletters you also send.

We continue with our challenging work here. The verses of Scripture we have chosen is our prayer for Zambia and we would appreciate your joining with us in this prayer for the nation, praying for unity, repentance and healing. As many of you know the Ministry of Health is under investigation for fraud, theft and misappropriation of resources. There are concerns about freedom of speech and expression with reports of attempted intimidation of journalists belonging to the independent press not controlled by the government.

Some International Indices will give you an idea of where Zambia sits and areas of concern. They are also a help to civil society here to put pressure on Government to try and improve matters. These are from December 2007 so there may be some small changes but they still provide a general picture.

CORRUPTION PERCEPTION INDEX: Denmark, Finland & NZ (1), Botswana (38), Malawi (118), Zambia (123), Kenya, Zimbabwe, (150) DRC (168), Somalia (179)

EASE OF DOING BUSINESS: Singapore (1), NZ (2), USA (3) South Africa (35), Kenya (72), Zambia (116), Uganda (118) Malawi (138), Zimbabwe (152),DRC (178)

AFRICAN GOVERNANCE: (Ibrahim): Mauritius (1) Seychelles (2) Botswana (3), Malawi (12), Kenya (15), Rwanda (18), Zambia (19), Mozambique(23), Zimbabwe (31), DRC (47), Somalia (48)

Teachers and health workers haverecently been on strike for increased wages and allowances. This seems to have been now settled and all have now returned to work.

The Hospital received an allocation of K5m in June for April 2009 from the District last week. This together with the help we received from the American Board and other American Churches has helped us to keep things running. The Hospital management is very appreciative of this assistance.

Another highlight of the past three months was the visit of the Moderator David Lunan with Maggie, Catherine and Eileen. We appreciated them taking the time and effort to come and visit us at Mwandi. It was an all too short visit but we think they were able to get a flavour of the work and ministries that are undertaken here and to meet with some of the people we live and work with.

Again on a more personal note we have made some good progress with the procedure for our adoption of Mubita. The Ministry of Social Welfare asked for Consent for adoption forms to be filled by Mubita’s maternal grandfather and paternal great aunt. We managed with the help of the area Chief and Social Worker to meet with the grandfather and great aunt and have these forms completed. They were then sent to the Magistrates Court in Sesheke. We received a summons at the end of June. We had to appear with the relatives. We managed to do this. The grandfather lives over an hour and a half from Mwandi into the bush. We were given the papers signed and stamped by the Magistrate which Ida took to the Ministry of Social Welfare this week.

She has gone to Lusaka with Doctor Trevor Parr and Helen, his wife. Trevor is our new New Zealand Mission Doctor. They have to visit Synod, Immigration. Medical Council and University Teaching Hospital to undertake all the necessary paperwork for registration, work permit, practice certificate etc. We are pleased to have Trevor and Helen with us. Another Doctor is a wonderful help here to try and continue to raise the standards of health and care for the people of Mwandi.

Ida phoned this morning to say that she has received a letter from Social Welfare to deliver to the Court at Sesheke granting permission for the adoption to go ahead at the Court’s convenience. Hopefully this should not take too long to organise and after that all that is needed is a trip to Register House in Lusaka for a new Birth Certificate, showing us as the parents.

The Pre-school at Sikuzu Church continues to develop. We have also with the help of another Scottish Church helped to roof the new Church at Matoya with zinc sheets. I have been approached by Simungoma Church who want to be next on the list.

All the cement and building materials necessary for the second classroomblock at the High School have been purchased. This is being funded by CEVAA the French Church’s Mission Board. Work to mould the bricks is proceeding and the foundations are about to be dug.

You will probably remember the well we mentioned in our January letter at Mwananono B. The Committee are now about to build a wall around is and put in a slab, so cement, brickforce and plastic have been procured for them.

Gregor arrived at the end of June. He, Rev Doug Vinez and I were invited by Percy, the Youth Pastor to the Mwandi Youth Retreat at Sankolonga held over the Heroes and Unity Holiday Weekend. The theme was’ Maximizing your Potential’. On the Saturday morning we had a good session on the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, looking at how to discover what you have been given , then another on how to use them. Gregor also spoke well at the Sunday Service on Jeremiah 1:4-8 on God knowing you, on being a youth but not being afraid to speak out and serve the Lord.

He is at Masese Clinic for the next 10 days with a group of young lawyers from Sli Eile, an Irish Jesuit organisation. They are putting in a solar panel for lights, painting the interior and building shelving for the pharmacy. This is the second year they have been there. Last year they repaired the roof and painted the exterior.

We are looking forward now to seeing all of you who are visiting us over the summer. Catriona will arrive at the end of the month. She is in Normandy at present, staying with Sylvianne and Camille to improve her French..

This weekend Ida as acting Hospital Administrator hosts her first local Board Meeting. We thank you all for your upholding us in prayer and your love and support for us and the work here.

With love and every blessing

Keith Ida Gregor Catriona & Mubita

Answered Prayer and Prayer Requests

We thank God for his provision for the patients and staff at the Hospital during this difficult time financially and this period of industrial unrest. We pray that Government will redress wrongs and grievances and will help the poor and powerless, reflecting God’s love and justice.

We give thanks for the thoughtful and fervent evangelism being undertaken by the Youth and our Men and Women’s Christian Fellowship. We pray for them as they invite people to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ.

We pray for our Jerusalem Church and the outstations in theMwandi Consistory. We give thanks for the gift of faith in Christ Jesus that enables us to know that we and the world are greatly loved and we pray especially for those faithfully proclaiming this good news through word, song, deed and sacrament.

We pray that in all areas of our life and work we will forge vibrant partnerships, marked by mutual respect, openness, repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation, praying that the Holy Spirit moulds our lives more and more into the likeness of Jesus Christ.

Taking Chance

2009-06-21T18:57:00.000-07:00

Julie and I watched the HBO original movie called Taking Chance last night. Julie boo-hooed through the whole thing, and though she couldn't see me, I was getting choked up myself. What an honest and genuine movie this was. I really have nothing bad to say about it.

The plot was based on true facts which are as follows. A marine named Chance Phelps is killed in action in Iraq in April of 2004. His body is to be escorted back to his family in the states. Lt. Col Michael Strobl volunteers to escort the deceased because he believes he is from his home town in Colorado. The fact that he more or less isn't, does not make any difference. Lt. Col Strobl evidently wrote about the experience and of course we now have this movie.

I didn't pick up on any political overtones or pro/anti-war slant. The whole movie is a demonstration of respect for our fallen service men and women and regardless of how you feel about the war, you will appreciate the sincerity of this film. Kevin Bacon does an outstanding job as Lt. Col Michael Strobl. The movie kept it real the whole way through and never overstated the obvious. There was perhaps the least dialogue I have witnessed in a movie in a while, for so much was said without vocal expression. I highly recommend it to any and everyone. 5 0f 5 stars.

Here is a link to an interview that Kevin Bacon did with the actual Lt. Col Strobl...http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Chance-Kevin-Bacon/dp/B001TOD6N4

Taken

2009-06-21T17:59:00.000-07:00

I just saw the movie Taken starring Liam Neeson. Wow! I mean....Wow! Once the daughter gets on the phone with her dad in Paris, you're pretty much served a non-stop diet of blunt force trauma delivered by numerous objects and by or on various appendages for the next oh, hour and 15 minutes or so. Steven Seagal ain't got nothin' on ole' Liam.

First the good stuff. Like I said, non-stop action, cool spy stuff, techno gadgets and indestructible pissed-off-former-spy-dad.

Now the mediocre part... Decent plot, though a bit contrived. 17 year old girl convinces dad to let her spend the summer in Paris with another 19 year old girl. (We all know nothing goods gonna come outta that) She gets kidnapped and previously mentioned pissed-off-former-spy-dad goes on the hunt with a furious frenzied ferocity.

All-in-all it's a pretty good movie. If I had to say anything bad it would be that the kills on the bad guys come so fast and frequent that you either recognize that the "good guy" is really a murderer or you become numb. I was numbly aware that the good guy had a knack for killing. Typical and somewhat predictable ending of a movie that gets about 3.5 out of 5 stars. I'm getting too hard to please I guess.

The Continuing Adventures of Telisomo Part 3 -Telisomo's Dream

2009-06-04T16:21:00.001-07:00

Telisomo scratched his head in disbelief at what he had just witnessed. He was learning a lot about things indeed. But down he hopped from the flower box on to the azalea bush and then on to the ground. He crawled around to the back of the smoke house and looked up in the direction of where he had last seen the hawk perched on a limb of one of the old oak trees. The hawk was preening his tail and wing feathers. He seemed to have a scowl across his forehead. Telisomo wondered if he was really as angry as he looked or if he was just marked that way. Telisomo scratched around on the ground looking for some tasty pollen or sap to eat. He found a particularly tasty drop of persimmon sap and began licking it up. It was runny, rich, tasted sweet and was dark like the rusty tin roof of old buildings. Persimmon sap was one of his favorites. He also liked clover pollen and buckwheat nectar. Whenever the farmer left one his beehive frames lying around, sometimes Telisomo would search around inside it and find some honey, which was his all time favorite. But that was pretty rare. The bees would usually get there earlier and scavenge it all away before he had a chance. When he could get to it first though, it was a real treat.

Telisomo filled his belly and began looking for a place to take a nap. It was getting to be that time of day, and his eyes were getting heavy. He could see the sun’s rays melting into the sides of the corncrib. Some of the husks were exposed to the sun and Telisomo imagined that it would be a great place to curl up and rest. So he headed over to the direction of the corncrib, climbed up and onto the very husks he had seen from a distance, wrapped himself in some particularly soft corn silk and began to dream. His mind wandered through the murk of billowed imagination, where reality and fantasy mix. Telisomo dreamed he was speck of stardust shooting through the sky, reflecting the light of millions of stars into the eyes of onlookers all over the universe. He imagined that strange creatures from far away planets saw him as he moved through space at a screaming pace. He looked into the eyes of those creatures and was surprised at what he saw. He sensed the same feelings he knew. He saw wonderment. He saw apprehension. He sensed fear. He felt the love they had in their hearts. He could see their political leaders huddled together at a table discussing the plans they had, and he sensed the familiarity of greed. He saw their military leaders gathered around large pieces of machinery and metal, and he sensed their pride and insecurity. Telisomo began to have a worrisome feeling in his dream. He was beginning to have a restless sleep. Why should a cricket like me, worry about far off places like that, he thought. He was surprised that he knew he was dreaming, but he felt as though it were real. Telisomo started having some indigestion and he woke up. He decided that two things (among others) were true about persimmon sap: It can cause weird dreams and bad gas.

My Personal Journey With Grief - Diane Loveless Poovey-Mobley

2009-06-04T15:50:00.000-07:00

“Daddy fell…” Those two little words began the sentence that would change my life forever. We had just celebrated one of the most joyous days of the year and were to continue the festive season with extended family members later that day. That morning I took a long bath and reflected on the past year’s ups and downs. A lot had happened in our lives that year and I, as all of us were, was completely unaware of the mountain I would begin climbing that afternoon. I remember, for the first time in awhile, feeling completely content and grateful for my family and was looking forward to the coming new year and wondering what new joys or trials it would bring our way. As I look back on that day now, I am filled with empathy and love for that family, my family.

Up until that day, in my thirty two years, I had never truly known tragedy. I was one of those people all of us are, who thought that “things like that don’t happen to me; they happen to other people but not to ME!” I was a wife and a mother of two little boys, a four year old and a five month old. I had married for love, something I had dreamed of all of my life. We were your typical American family living the small town life with dreams of watching our children grow into successful Christian men.

Death was, I believed, so far into the future that I never felt the subject needed to be acknowledged or addressed. Death couldn’t touch us. We were far too young to worry about such serious matters. Sound familiar? Oh, don’t get me wrong. We had a will drawn up when our first son was born but in my mind the likelihood of us putting that will to use before one of us was eighty five seemed almost hypothetical. That “hypothetical” situation happened within four years of us drawing up that will.

Back to that day… It was the day after Christmas, 2003. It began like any other December 26th. My husband, Darin, had taken our four year old, Devin, outside to play with some of his new toys. Darin loved being a dad more than any man I’ve ever known. He was the typical “big kid” , having bought a remote control airplane and left it, unbeknownst to me, wrapped up on the front porch. There was a note to himself from “Santa” on it, stating that he knew how he’d always wanted one! They had been outside for awhile when Devin came in the front door. The words that spilled out of his precious little mouth permeated my being like heavy lead. “Daddy fell off the ladder in the next neighbor’s yard and has blood right here”, he said as he pointed to his forehead.

I am not sure there are adequate words to express the whirlwind of emotions and thoughts that began to envelop me in that moment and in the ones following. I began blurting out questions and ran into the yard frantically in my robe and then back up the steps into the house again when I saw no sign of him. “Which neighbor’s house”? “Was he talking?” “Did the neighbor tell you to come get me”? Then, hospital…insurance card…get dressed…drive him to the hospital…get the baby…Go! I did all those things in a flash as my body shook and my heart pounded. I’ll never forget the horrific sound I heard next as I rushed down the front steps of the house, little Dracen in tow in his carseat and Devin and my little Dachshunds tagging along behind me. Sirens. Loud sirens!

The next several minutes are still a blur in my mind, like a very bad dream or an intensely dramatic scene shown in slow motion on a movie screen. As I drove my car over to the front of the neighbor’s house swarms of rescue squad volunteers buzzed in like honeybees who’d lost their queen. I could almost feel the color leave my face at the sight I saw next. Darin on the ground, blood running down his face… ladder knocked over… someone I don’t know trying to resuscitate him…neighbor talking to me in a frantic and sorrowful voice. “The plane was stuck in the tree“…“he insisted on getting it out“…“was going to climb the tree“…“I got a ladder“…“told him to be careful of that power line“…“told him to be careful of that power line“…“told him to be careful of that power line“. I think he only said it once but it was in my head like a skipping 45 on my record player when I was eight just as the words that were spilling out of my mouth as I watched this young man I did not know try to bring my husband back to life. “Why is he doing that? “… “Why is he doing that?”…“Why is he doing that?” Then I recall a female neighbor’s voice saying, “she’s in shock”.

The next thing I recall is my brother-in-law, Karry, showing up. I remember standing next to Karry in the street wanting to go with Darin and asking Karry if he was going to be okay. I think he said, “just stand right here”. I remember not hearing the words I wanted to hear from anyone. I wanted to hear that my husband, the father of my children, my best friend and partner, was going to be okay. That is what I wanted to hear but that is not what I heard and that is not what I felt. My mother-in-law, Pat, and Karry’s wife, Debbie, showed up at some point and a plan was in motion. Karry would drive Pat and I to the hospital in my car and Debbie would take the kids with her. I remember riding in the car to the hospital in the passenger seat of my car as I fidgeted with Darin’s insurance card, turning it over and over in my hands as I prayed silently as I’d never prayed before. “Oh please, God, please, please, please let him be okay. I’ll be a better wife, a better person, a better Christian if you’ll just let him be okay. I’m not ready to let him go. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I can’t survive without him. We can’t survive without him. Those little boys don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve this!” I didn’t get to say goodbye. He’s going to be okay. I know you’ll let him be okay. Please, Father, please!” Those were the silent prayers I prayed on what seemed like the longest ride of my life.

I tried to sit down on that uncomfortable plastic chair in the hospital emergency room but I couldn’t be still. I saw the paramedics come through those automatic doors and I saw the look of disappointment and grief on their faces. Pat, or someone, asked how he was and she just shook her head and said they didn’t know. I knew she was not being truthful though I still had a tiny glimmer of hope left in me. I also recall a woman who I believe was the hospital chaplain looking our way. I knew the look on her face was bad, bad news and I wanted no part of it or of her. I tried to get away from her, to somehow escape the pain I knew was coming. I was ready for this dream to be over. I wanted to wake up!

I never woke up because as you know by now this was not a dream. This was real. This was life at its worst and I was about to be hit with it head on. Happily ever after, as I knew it, was over. I can’t even recall the doctor’s face or name or even what came out of his mouth other than “we did all that we could do” and maybe something about his heart. What?!??!!! I flung myself to the floor like a child having a temper tantrum in a department store when she was told she could not get the new doll or oversized lollipop she wanted. “But Dracen doesn’t even know him yet!” were the words I blurted out next. I wanted to run, run as fast as I could for as long as I could until I was back safe and snug in my familiar world. But I did not run for I had no place else to go. The world as I had known it was over. I knew I had to stand back up and start climbing.

The droves of family members and friends who showed up at the hospital next was comforting yet overwhelmingly painful. The depth of pain on each of their faces cut into my soul and filled me with unfamiliar emotions and one that I was familiar with, Anger! I was angry that this was happening to me, to my family. We weren’t perfect but we were good people, weren’t we? “How could you let us down like this, Lord? How could you?” This anger was magnified when I saw the unbearable pain on my in-laws’ faces. Bob and Pat are two of the most exceptional Christian persons I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. The anger alternated with feelings of fear and an overbearing sadness. My emotions were bouncing around like one of those little bouncy balls kids love to get from a bubble gum machine. I was lost.

I cannot recall how long we were in that hospital or most of what took place while we were there but I will never forget going into the room to see him. Walking into that room where his body lay gave new meaning to the word “surreal” for me. I talked to him as if he were still in there though I knew he was not. This was painfully evident when I took his hand that still wore his wedding band from under that stark white sheet. For the first time since I’d met him, nine and a half years earlier, that hand was unresponsive to my touch and for the very first time in my life, I wanted to die. I did not want to stay behind and pick up all the broken pieces.

Walking out of that room to go home and leaving him behind filled me with a massive void. It was as if my naivete had been dissolved and all that I was vanished, leaving behind a combination of numbness and raw exposure. I felt that everyone could see inside my soul and that all my emotions, which were normally kept in tact, were on my sleeve for all to see. There must have been at least thirty people there who had come to give support and grieve their friend, cousin, nephew, etc. As we passed through them on our way out of that room where his body lay, I was compelled to reach out and embrace some of them who were mostly friends of his. This was a very uncharacteristic behavior for me, the old me.

It was dark out by the time we left the hospital to go home. Walking back into the house where the Christmas tree still stood and the presents we had unwrapped still lay under the tree was a dose of harsh reality that I was ill- prepared for. So many faces, some familiar and some not, poured in and out of our little house over the next three days. I think back on it as a compassionate invasion of my space. They all came bearing food, paper plates or toilet paper and each one had the most mournful look of sorrow on their face. “Please call us if you need anything”. I was surely going to wake up from this nightmare soon. I just knew it.

The nightmare only got worse as I did not wake up. I will spare you all the nauseating details of the next couple of days that involved picking out a casket and the ironing of his burial clothes, even underwear, something I’d never done in my life and am still not sure why I felt the need to do so. He died on Friday, we received friends at our church for about six or seven hours on Sunday and buried him on a cloudy Monday. It took about two weeks for our lives to settle down as we began the struggle for a new sense of “normal”.

As the numbness began to wear off, it was replaced by a pain that was almost debilitating at times. I recall sitting in the bathtub almost paralyzed by this pain and emptiness inside. This grief was smothering and sucking the life out of me. I prayed with all that I had left in me, which did not feel like much at the time, and I felt Him. I had never experienced the power of the Holy Spirit as I did in that moment. It was as if Jesus Himself entered my bathroom and held me in His arms. I felt His unfathomable love embrace me and fill me with the strength I needed to get through the rest of the day.

“One day at a time” became my motto and Jesus was my rock in a way that I have never allowed Him to be before. I knew, even that early into this journey, that I was growing as a human being and as a Christian. I had never felt I needed Him before in the way that I did now. I now needed Him in order to breathe, to get out of bed each morning, to care for my grieving four year old and my restless infant. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I still had days when I yelled at God for allowing this to happen. I had moments of intense rage that seemed to alternate with feelings of gratefulness for all that I still had and for all that I was learning. Mostly though, there was just an incredible sadness and overwhelming sense of loss.

Although I was surrounded by those who were grieving for the same person just as fiercely as I was, I felt that no one around me could relate to what I was going through, personally. I knew that I needed to reach out to other young widows with children and had an overwhelming desire to do so. I found exactly what I was looking for on a website for young widows. I would read their individual stories and breathe a sigh of relief to know that someone else really did know what I was going through. Each story was tragic and I felt myself feeling empathy for each one of them though at the same time it was comforting. They knew what I knew. I formed close friendships with three of these ladies from the online support group and each one of them will forever be precious to me. I’ve no doubts that God brought us together.

By the time these friendships were formed, I was beginning to gain a newfound sense of independence and confidence that I had never quite known before. I felt empowered by the fact that I was battling this storm of grief head on and taking charge of my life. I did still, however, have extreme lows and moments of self-pity. I could hear God talking to me, telling me to get it out, to use it. That is when I began writing poetry. I had never attempted to do such a thing ever and honestly, did not think I was capable of it. but when the words starting pouring out of me onto the paper, I felt alive. The poems always began during my lowest points, when I was hurting intensely. They would usually start out dark and painful but I could always hear God’s voice reminding me of how far I’d come and encouraging me to end each one on a positive note and to remember Him in each one.

I was never really quite sure what to do with the poems after I finished them but I always felt a sense of accomplishment afterwards. It was as if I’d just sat down face to face with God and worked out my problems in a therapy session. I knew I had to share the poems with someone so I would email them to family and friends, always with positive feedback and sometimes a few tears. I have not written a poem about grief in quite some time for I am no longer actively grieving. I have been happily remarried for three months now and life is good. I have, however, been feeling that tug again which I believe is God trying to tell me something. I hear Him telling me that He’s not even close to being done with me yet and that I need to step up my game! I am not sure yet what it is that He is calling me to do but I do know that when He speaks to me, I'm sure gonna listen!

The Machinist

2009-05-30T00:11:00.000-07:00

I saw "The Machinist" last night. It's a long story, but this was in fact the second time I have seen it. For some reason, I must have not finished it the first time, for I had completely forgotten the ending and most of the last third of the movie. This is a 2004 movie staring an emaciated Christian Bale. The gist of the story is this: Trevor Reznik, played by Bale, is a machine shop worker who, as he tells his hooker girlfriend Stevie, played by Jennifer Jason-Leigh, hasn't slept in a year. He begins imagining things, and the line between reality and delusion gets blurred, both for him and the viewer.

I read somewhere that Bale almost exclusively ate only apples, tuna and drank coffee to lose an approximately 60 lbs over 4 months to look the part. I'm not sure if someone who doesn't sleep for a year really loses that much weight, but, it was convincing just the same. It is difficult to imagine that Bale could look so gaunt and nearly deformed after you've seen him in the Batman role or really any of his other roles for that matter. To say that he immersed himself in the part is an understatement. He certainly transformed his body. His portrayal of the character was good. Bale is not my favorite actor, though I have loved the Batman movies so far. In other roles I have been less impressed. I need to see American Psycho. That might seal the deal one way or the other for me on whether I like him or not.

The story is suspenseful, and the tone is creepy. There are some moments when it is quite terrifying and is reminiscent of a horror movie. I wouldn't call this horror, though it comes close. It's sort of a cross between The Sixth Sense and The Ring. But I feel it's not quite as good as either one of those movies. Those two are classics in my book. This is not a classic. But it is worth your time. 3.5 of 5 stars.

The Continuing Adventures of Telisomo the Cricket

2009-05-24T22:24:00.000-07:00

Telisomo the Cricket

2009-05-20T02:07:00.000-07:00

I posted this story on my band's myspace. But I liked it well enough that I decided to post it here as well.

There was this cricket who had spots on his wings. His name was Telisomo. He was dark like all the other crickets except for the very light tan spots on each of his wings. The spots didn't make him fly crooked or not as high as other crickets. They didn't make the song he made by rubbing his shin bones across his wings any less perfect than other crickets. What they did was to set him apart from others in his leaf pile. Insects and invertebrates would pass by him and they didn't have to see his face or hear his voice to know who he was, so long as they could see his spots. Sometimes Telisomo would be glad that he was different, and other times he just couldn't hardly stand himself. His mother always told him that the spots made him special. But Telisomo knew she loved him and would never say anything bad about him anyway.

One day he had perched up on the side of a particularly old red oak tree, so that his body was nearly settled in between the grooves of bark. He was just about to start working on this new melody he had swimming in his head, when he saw the strangest site. It was a starling bird with a short black beak eating night crawlers that had become stranded on the concrete after the rain that had come the night before. That wouldn't have been unusual in and of itself except that the bird had spots on its wings not unlike the spots on Telisomo's. Telisomo knew birds, and he knew the ones with and without spots. And he knew that starlings don't have spots. Intrigued he watched as the bird plucked away at several night crawlers and he followed the bird into the air with his eyes as it flew away with it's belly full.

It occured to Telisomo that two things (among others) in this world are true. Starlings may have spots from time to time. And it's tough to be a nightcrawler stranded on concrete after a rain!

Cyanide - by David Spurlock

2009-05-15T22:05:00.000-07:00

Your face has turned hard.

You're chained to the wall.

And the combination ain't helpin' you at all.

You were contemplating suicide, by choking on your tears like they were cyanide.

I can't help you help you help yourself.

So put that book back on the second shelf.

Lately you're fading away.

Once I was good and I gave like I got.

But all the temptation rang out like a shot.

The silent waving countryside, was more than I could take. I cried. I cried.

I can't help you help you help yourself.

So put that book back on the second shelf.

Lately you're fading away.

Doubt

2009-05-07T19:41:00.000-07:00

Saw the movie Doubt yesterday. This is a story that centers around, I assume, a fictional Catholic school in the fall/winter of 1964. The main characters are played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman who plays Father Flynn and Meryl Streep who plays Sister Aloysius Beauvier.

As the movie begins and we begin to sense the tension between Hoffman and Streep's characters, you can almost anticipate the screaming match that will no doubt come as the movie builds to a climax. For we all know that both of these actors are masters of the craft, and isn't this how two strong actors confront one another onscreen? There is some screaming, but it's not overdone. I was told this movie was really good. I don't disagree that it was. But it left me...eh...just eh. I guess it was the subject matter, costumes and scenery.

For the most part this movie was an exception to the thing I have against movies like this. That is they always seem to show religious people and leaders as scumbags. This movie showed the faults of people without making them into monsters, with the possible exception of Meryl Streep's character. But since there was good-guy/bad-girl characters, it thus portrayed Hoffman's character in a good light. So I give it props for that.

The acting was terrific. The story was compelling. I could hardly get over the bonnet that the nuns wore. I know they are probably authentic. But they seemed to take away from what Streep was trying to convey. Man, what a spiteful/prudish she-wolf she was. She did a great job despite the bonnet. I enjoyed the questions about morality and religion and so forth that were consequently raised around the plot. I give the movie 3.5 out of 5 stars. In the end what really disapointed me was the lack of revelation about the accusations of Sister Aloysius against Father Flynn. I never figured out if they were true or not. I guess you could say I had..... (Austin Power's pause..........) doubts!

Magic in the Night

2009-05-05T07:15:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Kelly Ray for allowing me to post on Poovelosophy. I didn't write this with any intentions of publication, it just kind of poured out of me after a phenomenal experience. Hope you like it.

Red Bear

Show a little faith, there's magic in the night
You ain't a beauty, but hey you're alright
Oh and that's alright with me

Bruce Springsteen – Thunder Road

Once again, Bruce Springsteen delivered his passionate, hard driving "rock and roll exorcism" in Greensboro NC on May 2. I think I've seen him now nearly a dozen times since the mid 80s, but last night's show was truly magical.

The journey begins with my wife (Linda) and I heading to Greensboro early that afternoon to check into our hotel room. It is, after all, a Saturday night show – gotta spend the night! Our friends Russ and his wife Lari meet us in the room for a short happy hour. Lari and I are "Bruce Buddies" and have been talking about tickets and the show for quite some time. Russ complains about not ever being able to understand Bruce's words, but always comes away amazed at the effort. Linda has grown into a fan and swears that either Bruce or Little Steven always points at her to acknowledge her presence.

We load up in the car and head over to a restaurant near the Coliseum to meet an old high school friend (Ross) and his girlfriend. We all sit in the bar area and some other friends of Ross' show up. Before long, we have a table of 10-12 people drinking beer, watching the Kentucky Derby on TV, and sharing Bruce stories. On to the show!

Fans clutter the concourse searching for the shortest beer lines and the nearest bathrooms. We soon found out that the shortest lines are not always the fastest. Ugh! Linda and I have seats in a far lower level corner facing the stage. Not bad, but not the best either. Small groups of people stand or sit talking about the last time they'd seen Bruce or how far they’d travelled – searching for a connection.

Prior to show time, I was texting my old college roommate Jim. He was the one who introduced me to Bruce Springsteen's music. I told him that I missed him and wished he was there. Jim attended the Atlanta show earlier in the week and he told me to expect the first song to be played at 8:15. If anybody would know, it would be my pal Jersey Jim. Suddenly, the house lights were off and darkness surrounded us. We all rose as one knowing that the band was making their way on stage. At that moment, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I quickly opened it to find a text message from Jim - "Showtime!" Great start!

After about four songs, Linda and I moved to a vacant area directly behind the stage. I had kept my eye on that section waiting to see if it filled. We walked quickly past the ushers like we knew where we were going. Bingo. Front row! We had similar seats in Charleston SC, so we knew things are different behind the stage. While you don't see all of the actions of the band, you do see the faces of the audience in front - those who are reflecting the unbelievable energy from Bruce. They are always pushing forward trying to grasp a piece of Rock and Roll’s healing power.

During the playing of The Promised Land, I found myself looking up and to my right to the upper reaches of the building. There, some 25 years ago, Jim brought me to my first show. I've never forgotten that experience. We tried to record the show with a cheap - now primitive - tape recorder. With every head bob, fist pump, and air guitar solo, Jim let loose all he could – silently. After all, we dared not compromise our recording with claps and yells! Even though the quality of that recording was barely audible, it was ours. We listened to it over and over.

Later in the performance, Bruce and Little Steven took turns walking the rear of the stage to say hello to the faithful in back. Linda and I were the only two people on our row so we would have been easy to spot. She squealed with delight when Steven pointed right at her and waved. Another fan then approached Linda and asked her if she was Bruce’s red headed sister-in-law. Of course, Linda smiled and said, “Yes I am!” That could have been the highlight for us, but there was more to come.

As the 27 song, 3 hour show exploded in the night, something told me that it was not time for us to leave just yet. The band disappeared under the stage, but there was plenty of backstage action. I told Linda to move closer and see if they would give her any souvenirs. One of the roadies had one of Jay Weinberg's drumsticks in his pocket. After a little squealing and pleading, he gave it to her. Unbelievable!

We headed out with the masses to meet Russ and Lari outside. There was an unbelievable buzz in the crowd - a mixture of young and old, veterans and rookies of the E Street Band experience. With drumstick in hand, Linda floated through the crowd and showed everyone her prize. To anyone who would listen, Linda pointed out the marks and indentions on the drumstick. “This one”, she said, “was from Thunder Road. This one was from Born to Run”. Lari nearly fell over when we told her what happened. Everyone who saw it just wanted to get a quick touch as if something magical would be passed along to them. One goofy teen actually took a picture of it on his cell phone.

We headed back to the restaurant to meet our friends for post show drinks. Of course, Linda and the drumstick commanded the spotlight around our table. Conversations were loud and lively as friends old and new shared our connection to the "Steensboro" show. In the center of the table, though, was the drumstick. It had passed in and out of all our hands at some time during the night. One last chance to share the magic we had just witnessed......

The Republican Party- Part One

2009-04-29T20:34:00.000-07:00

What follows are thoughts about why the Republican party is now a party struggling to be viable and relevant. Part one focuses on the Iraq war and its consequences.

The state of the Republican Party is by most accounts bad. How did things get this way? What happened? Ironically, some if not most of the blame can be laid on the Bush administrations reaction to what would become the platform or at least the defining moment of the party for the last eight years; that is the 9/11 terrorist attacks in 2001.

No one can honestly blame the Bush administration for those attacks. They were an unfortunate, but avoidable result of policies and strategies of previous adminstrations, going back at least to the Reagan years and that adminstration's efforts in thwarting communism in Afganistan. And further back still if you count America's beginnings at dependence on foreign oil. Without the billions of dollars flowing into Saudi Arabia, Osama bin Laden's father would never have become the billionaire construction king that he became and well....much more than that is hopeful conjecture. Islamic extremists would still be riding camels in the desert posing little harm to our way of life, if we had not enabled them with our money. Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, Bush was left holding the bag. And regrettably for us and the rest of the world we elected a man not up to the task of handling the contents of that bag. This is not a Bush bashing beat-down. I really think the man believed what he was doing was right for the country when he authorized our troops to go into Iraq. And I think he came to that belief by accepting advice from those around him who lacked a full vision of consequences for actions that might be taken. And they could flippantly give advice and direction freely to a man who trusted their input and who ultimately has taken the blame, without taking direct hits for that advice themselves. Bush's biggest fault was that he has yet to admit responsibility for those failed policies and strategies. He still may believe that what he did was not a failure. And if you take the Left's word that successful policy has protected Americans from attack on our soil, then you can buy into that....that...that lie. Truth is, we have lost thousands of servicemen and women in a war that had little if anything to do with the attacks of 9/11. The Iraqi war has not made Americans safer. It has only increased resentment by those who would do us harm, and actually may have increased their numbers.

The war in Afghanistan was the right war. It was the right strategy. It was successful in many ways. But Iraq was just as equally the wrong war, the wrong strategy and success.....well, it will be many years before the successes or failures of the Iraq war can be truly gauged. Did we remove Saddam Hussein? yes...Did we lose many thousands of lives of servicemen and women? yes... Did we kill many hundreds of thousands of Iraqis, guilty and innocent? yes.... And truthfully this last question may indicate the most damage related to the war. Did we alienate millions, if not billions of people in the world with our aggression and arrogance? yes yes yes. We have lost the respect of so many across the world.

This blog however is not about the Iraqi war, good or bad. It is about how it and the people who continued to support it, namely ultra-conservative Republicans, were perceived by the people of America. The Republican party's insistence that the policy in Iraq is/was the right one is probably the main reason people began to look away from the GOP for leadership. What frustrates so many is that right wing nut jobs have hijacked the party and refused to admit failure, or worse admit mistakes. Because we all make them. And people know that. And people are willing to forgive a mistake or four. What people won't forgive is incessant stubborness and an unwillingness to admit mistakes. Rational and reasonable people, Republicans and Democrats and everyone inbetween, could see that after it was obvious that there were no weapons of mass destruction that a mistake had been made. And no new verbage or reframing of the objectives by the Bush administration was going to hide that fact. And that's the part that really grates on people. You can't try to feed reasonable people crap and call it cake and expect them to just eat it. They're smarter than that. The problem with the Iraqi war was that once you go into something like that, you can't back out. You're trapped. The wrong thing at that point is to leave the country in shambles. And you can't keep going at something like that and admit that it was a mistake to go in, because you can't get the support you need to finish the job and you'll leave the people in Iraq stranded. What a predicament!

I was a lifelong Republican. It is the party of my family. It was all I ever knew. To see it become what it has become saddens me. This is just a search for answers why, why, why.

Your input is welcome and your opinion will be respected. Please don't make anything personal and be as objective as possible.

Slow Burn

2009-04-26T17:44:00.000-07:00

I am currently trying to understand why I finished watching the worst movie that I've sit through in years. This waste of film, money and talent, (as in Ray Liotta and at times LL Cool J) did not deserve the 93 minutes of my life that I just lost. It started slow like a firecracker fuse that just kinda fizzles out before it cracks. And then rather than crack it sort of phewts. A total disappointment. It really doesn't deserve the time I am further spending on writing this review. The only decent part of the movie was some of the music. Other reviewers described this as a wannabe crime drama/film noir. I suppose so. I just label it as crap. Don't waste your time. 1 out of 5 stars.

Slum Dog Millionaire

2009-04-24T20:04:00.000-07:00

I just saw the best movie I've seen in about 15 years. Not since Forrest Gump in '94 have I been so impressed with a movie. I know you've probably heard the hype about this movie, Slum Dog Millionaire. So had I. And I usually scoff when I hear that much about something. This was the exception, at least as far as I'm concerned.

Now I really don't know any of the actors names. I could Google them and list them here, but you probably wouldn't remember them anyway. But they deserve real credit for a job well done. It was a classic love story with a way original twist. Basically the story goes like this. A young man is on the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. He is asked questions just like in the American version and he is able to know the answers, mostly, by remembering events from his childhood, and we the audience are shown those memories. Don't want to give anything away, but these are the basics. The main character Jamil and his brother Salim are orphans living in the slums of Mumbai. The meet up with another orphan girl named Latika. From there we see them age to the point where Jamal is a contestant on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. Jamal and Latika love each other even as children, but for different reasons they are kept apart.

It was very well acted. There was hardly any way that you knew what was going to happen next. I made several wrong predictions, much to Julie's annoyance, throughout the movie. It had a very original plot and kept me interested all the way to the end. It was sad at times, but mostly very inspiring. My only complaints were that it was a little difficult for me to understand their Indian accented English, and the subtitles, when used were a little small and they disappeared before I could read some of them. Thank goodness for the remote. The dance sequence at the end was completely unnecessary.

Interestingly, one of the actresses, who played Latika (as a very small child) was in the news lately. It seems that her father tried to sell her for $400,000.00. He was arrested and everything. Sounds like truth really is sometimes stranger than fiction. See this link http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bonnie-fuller/can-326-million-save-slum_b_189406.html for the whole story.

I so recommend this movie to anyone who wants to see a well made film. I'm rounding up a high 4.something to 5 of 5 stars. I rented it from Netflix, as I do most of the movies I watch, but I'll most likely buy this one.

Barbarosa

2009-04-22T21:32:00.000-07:00

I feel like I should give a review of this forgotten movie. It was one of my favorites growing up. I realize now that its not the best movie ever, not by a long shot. Still, it ranks as one of my all time favorites.

The movie is about a farm boy Karl, (played by Gary Busey) who has to run to the desert to escape the revengeful wrath of the family of a man he killed. He runs into an outlaw named Barbarosa (played by Willie Nelson) who is also escaping the wrath of a family bound to kill him. They form an unlikely bond and the movie spends about an hour and half telling their story of adventure. Willie Nelson's acting skills never impressed me too much in this movie. But I loved hearing the profanity that he constantly spews out. Gary Busey does a wonderful job with his character.

There are some great quotes in it; mostly by Willie's character, and as a teenager with my cousin Darin and brothers Josh and Nathan we used to love to find ways to use them. Some of my favorites are, "Goddamn....Your ears!" "You're just a damn farm boy." "I hate sheep, you couldn't give me one of the wooly bastards." "Not down there. We've already been down there." "I betchu didn't catch an armadillo for my supper now, did you by-God." "Oh, I think I recognize you now. You're Mr Shit." "Manos aribas, sonsabitches."

You can imagine how immature teenage boys loved to find ways to incorporate these quotes in our day-to-day conversations. If Darin were still alive, we'd be using them yet.

The plot keeps you interested and is well paced. It is very much not a formulaic movie. It is hard to know what is going to happen next if you're watching it for the first time. I really like that in a movie. Keeps your interest peeked.

The music also is very interesting. It sometimes doesn't seem to fit, but it fits none-the-less.

I have read reviews of this movie that completely slam it. I can understand that. For what ever reason it just really appealed to me then and I have watched several times as an adult and still like it. I own it in fact. I definitely recommend it. If I'm being objective, it would get about 3 out of 5 stars, just because of Willie's acting and the less than stellar cinematography. But it's a personal favorite that gets 4.5 of 5.

Movie Reviews 4-18-09 Flash of Genius and Australia

2009-04-18T19:49:00.000-07:00

Saw two movies this weekend. First was Flash of Genius. I'm not sure what it was about this movie...I mean I liked it, but I felt like it could have been better. I read some of the history behind the story, in other words the real story. It turns out that it is mostly true, but the facts are embellished quite a bit. But as far as the movie goes, I guess my criticism is that maybe the main character played by Greg Kinnear wasn't all that convincing. He has never been a favorite of mine, and I guess this movie just added to the list of reasons why. Again, I liked it. I guess because I really enjoy true stories. Of course just to fill you in, its about the guy who more or less invented the intermittent wiper feature for wind shield wipers. Ford Motor Company screwed him out of it and he spent the next 20 years fighting back. So its a good story, decently done, but there was some untapped potential. So I give it 3 out of 5 stars.

Next we saw Australia. This was an epic film about an English lady trying to restore a mismanaged cattle ranch that her husband was running in Australia in the years before and at the beginning of World War II. Throw in bad racist white people, some Aboriginal mysticism and there you go. I like this time period. I am fascinated with Australia, I like Hugh Jackman and I certainly like Nicole Kidman, so I had a lot of hope and anticipation for this movie. I wasn't too disappointed. This movie wanted to be sort of a Gone With the Wind, or some other classic type epic film. It didn't quite make it to that point. I really liked the movie. Some of it was predictable. It had all the formula elements and that was a little disappointing. But enough about the bad. It had great scenery. It had a great story. It was very well acted. It was entertaining. So I give it 4 out of 5 stars.

Butter Pecan Ice Cream

2009-04-16T21:42:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you all, but I love butter pecan ice cream. I'm not sure when I first had it. We always used to make home made ice cream when I was growing up, but we made banana, strawberry, chocolate, vanilla, pineapple. Those were pretty much the standards. We never made butter pecan. So I guess the first I had was store bought. And that brings me to the purpose of this particular blog: What is the best brand of butter pecan ice cream?

The reason it came to mind was just this; Jesse and I were at Walmart the day before yesterday and we bought some. It was Eddy's brand. I had had it before. So I get it home and try it out. First of all, it seemed a little melted and soft. I don't like that at all. The flavor was pretty good, but there wasn't that many pecans in it, at least compared to the gold standard, which I will get around to describing here in a minute. The Eddy's we bought seemed, I don't know, fluffy. I don't like fluffy ice cream. On a scale of 1 to 10 I'd give it a 5. I had some Pet brand butter pecan one time and it was even fluffier, the flavor wasn't as good, and there was even less pecans in it. It rate it about a 3. I just as soon have plain vanilla or chocolate or something as to waste my money on that Pet crap.

Bi-lo brand. Just average. Not bad, but definitely not something I will get out of my chair late in the afternoon or evening to go and get when I have a jones for some butter pecan. Rate it about a 6.

So enough about the bad to middle varieties, lets talk excellence. And when I think of the best of the best of the best of butter pecan ice cream, one brand comes to mind. And you're probably gonna scoff at first. But it's Food Lion brand. I know, I know...what could Food Lion possible know about making ice cream? I won't answer that. I'll just say, if you're a connoisseur of butter pecan ice cream, then, if you haven't tried, try it. I promise you will not be disappointed. Truth is they probably don't make it. They probably just put it in their boxes, but I don't care. It's soooooo good. First of all, it is definitely not fluffy. It is rich as, well, it's rich. The flavor is just perfect, and there are enough pecans in each half gallon to start a fairly large size pecan grove. Seriously, I can eat a whole half gallon in one sitting, no lie. It is a 10 on a scale from one to ten. I'm not talking about any special variety or anything. I mean the plain Food Lion brand of butter pecan ice cream.

Another very good variety when there isn't any Food Lion to be had is Mayfield. Runs a respectable second place. The only reason that it isn't higher up is actually two reasons. The first is that it is usually a good bit more expensive the the Food Lion brand. The other is taste/flavor. It has just a bit of a artificial twang to it. Not much, not even offensively so. It's just that I detect a hint of chemical. But I definitely recommend the Mayfield brand. It is quite tasty. It's about a 7.5 to 8 on a scale of 1 to 10.

Breyers...Breyers is not bad. Pretty good actually. It borders on being a little fluffy when it starts to thaw at all, and they sometimes seem to skimp on the pecans. But all in all, not a bad choice when you can't get the best. 7 on a scale from 1 to 10.

So enough said. I just thought it would be nice to pass along this little tidbit of info for those who may not have thought to try the Food Lion brand of butter pecan ice cream. Yum yum yum, go get some!

Frost/Nixon Movie Review

2009-04-05T19:23:00.000-07:00

I want to say right out of the box that Toby Jones' character of Swifty Lazar was the most interesting character in the movie. Ole' Tobe is in a lot of movies these days. This is of course about the interviews that David Frost did with Richard Nixon in May of 1977. Julie and I watched this tonight. I had seen the interviews some years back. Don't really remember too much about them. I don't really know any of the actors in this movie too well. I remember the guy that played David Frost also recently played Tony Blair. Anyway, the movie was good. I don't remember ever seeing a bad movie that Ron Howard directed. You know, Opie, Richie Cunningham? The acting was solid. The plot was well paced. The story was easy to follow. If I have a criticism, it would be that the actors really didn't look too much like the people they were playing. It's hard to give a movie like this 5 out of 5 stars. I mean, come on....Richard Nixon? David Frost? Can't get too excited about those guys. But still definitely would recommend it. 4 of 5 stars.

A Night Out at Carrabba's

2009-04-04T17:59:00.000-07:00

Tonight, Julie and I went to Carrabba's Italian Grill for dinner. I know, I know, there are gonna be those out there that are Olive Garden people all the way. They wouldn't think of going to another Italian restaurant. Well I submit to you that this kind of tit-for-tat is counter-productive. I see it sort of like apples vs. oranges or the Mary-Ann vs. Ginger dilemma. Why be so set on one, when both have their own uniqueness to offer. I like Olive Garden too, and go there often. But, I must admit that I am just a little partial to Carrabba's.

Well anyway, we got there at about 7:35 pm and more or less went straight in to a table. Bobby Darin was on the overhead speakers singing Beyond The Sea (see the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEIDep_UMmk). God, I love that song. I knew it was going to be a great night. By 7:45 we had our ice water (for Julie) and unsweet tea for me and were looking over the menus. If you've never been to Carrabba's, they have this hickory wood burning stove/grill/oven in the back thats viewable, and outside you can actually smell the wood smoke burning. And as best I can tell they do actually use that heat to cook with. The only complaint I have ever had with the place, is it's a bit dark. The tables are closer together than at Olive Garden, and that makes for a nice atmosphere, as long as there isn't some jackass sitting close by.

We picked out the mozzarella cheese sticks and marinara sauce as an appetizer at $6.00. Basically, its mozzarella cheese that is breaded with some type of italian flavored breading, then deep fried and brought hot, very hot, with a tomato based, garlic infused, marinara sauce that drips with a rich Mediterranean flavor - in fact, I could eat it just by itself.... fact is, I have.

Next we ordered a mixed drink each. We decided to get the same thing so as to have a dual experience, yet different perspective. We settled on the Rosso Rubino Martini at $8.00. This was a first for me and her. I found out this little tropical treasure trove of fantastical fruity flavor has Absolute Ruby Red Vodka, mango syrup, cranberry juice, 2 packets of sugar, a twist of lemon and parsley all mixed up into a little splash of delicious dynamite. It even had cinnamon sticks to stir with. I ended up chewing on mine after the meal was over.

Before our main dishes, we had salads brought out. Your typical caesar salad with parmesan dressing. The greens were fresh and the carrots were crisp and the olives were there just to keep you honest. For some reason the bits of celery didn't bother me near as much as it has in the past. It was a decent salad. They also brought out freshly baked bread, which was hot and fluffy and tasty as, well, hot freshly baked bread. They mixed some herbs and garlic in olive oil to dip it in. That's always a highlight for me. I love that stuff.

For the main course, I ordered Insalata Johnny Rocco at $13.oo. This was a mixed green salad, with grilled shrimp and scallops, all dressed in an Italian type vinaigrette. This was a first for me. I was not disappointed. The salad was cool and crisp and fresh as an October Saturday morning on the porch. The shrimp and scallops were warm, cooked to perfection and literally, they seemed to melt the minute they came into contact with saliva. It was perhaps the best salad I had ever eaten. Julie had Mezzaluna ravioli, a half order at $6.00. She told me it was excellent. And having had it myself before, I can say that it was for me then as well. All cheesy and warm and and rich. mmm mm mm.....She ate all but about 4 of the raviolis. We brought them, some of the bread and cheese sticks home in a goody bag. The boys will most likely devour it all as soon as the value is ascertained.

We didn't get deserts. We were stuffed by that point. Our bill was $47.56. I left a $7.44 tip to even out the bill at $55.00. Yea, I know, a little pricey.

So finally out of a possible 5 stars, the experience gets an overall rating of 4.5. Breaking it down, I give the wait a 5. The service a 4, just because it took a bit for our waitress to get back to us after she had gotten us our water and tea. The appetizer was a 4.5. The pre-meal salad was 4. The drinks were definitely a 5. The meal was also a 5. The price, well, you get what you pay for so I'm gonna give this one a 5 as well. If you want cheap Italian food, I guess you go to Cici's Pizza...ha!

Madonna Adopts

2009-04-03T13:33:00.000-07:00

So I heard today that Madonna got rejected by some judge in Malawi in her attempt to adopt another child. I really am not sure what the public opinion is on this. I never liked Madonna too much. I thought her music, most of it, was great. But I never liked her way of life and in your face immorality. However, I have to say that I admire her efforts to make some sort of difference in the lives of the children in Malawi that have been so devastated by HIV/AIDS. Having been to Zambia, a neighboring country with nearly the same type of problems, I realize that there is little hope in the lives of those children. And once you've been there and have seen it for yourself, you feel a need to do what you can. There is such desperation and tragedy everywhere you look. Nearly a whole generation has been lost to AIDS and children are raising children.

I saw Madonna's film on YouTube and I believe her concern is genuine. I believe that the scoffing I perceive from the public and press is unfounded and is based on ignorance of the situation. I would like to know other people's thoughts. Please leave your comments.

Movie Reviews WE 3-28-2009

2009-04-02T19:02:00.000-07:00

Another weekend with rain, and all we did was eat and sleep and watch movies......

Gran Torino....Thought this movie was great. Hate using cliches, but it was classic Eastwood. I thought it really spoke to the changing face of America and how folks are dealing with that. I did find some of the acting by the Asians awkward and stilted. The scene where the priest is confronted by the cops was absolutely pathetic. But, I would still give the movie 4 out of 5 stars.

Benjamin Button...Interesting concept. Of course I had to use my imagination to be able to accept the concept. Not too hard to do. I realized about half way through the movie that his unique way of aging/youngering was really not what the movie was about. In some way it was a metaphor on accepting the loss of people in our lives. The acting was good. The plot was Okay. It could have used some more fantastical or hilarious moments to take it over the top. Kinda like the Bubba parts in Forrest Gump. But I would definitely recommend it. 3.5 of 5 stars.

Shooter....Mark Walberg was your typical, highly trained commando, pissed off because the government tried to frame and kill him, and he's gonna get revenge and you know it and you can almost predict how it will happen - flick. It was Okay for what it is. 3 of 5 stars.

Amazing Grace... Great story, true story, and that always kind of intrigues me. If you didn't know, it's about the English politician who worked to have the slave trade abolished in England. English Actors always seem to over act a bit to me. This wasn't an exception. But still it was done well enough that I would recommend it. 3 of 5 stars.

Movie Review WE 2-28-2009

2009-04-02T17:31:00.000-07:00

Did we watch movies?????...with the rain, the cold and the snow....that's about all we did....besides eat and sleep.

The Wrestler...very good 4 of 5 stars. Would definitely recommend it. Wasn't quite up to the hype.

W....3.5 of 5 stars. Gave me a new appreciation for Bush that I had lost. I kept in mind that Oliver Stone, who directed it, is nobody's conservative and assumed it would be biased and maybe over-the-top and some neo-conservatives still might think that...but I found it pretty centrist...it highlighted some of Bush's better qualities as well....I took away that Bush is human and made mistakes like everyone else. The problem is that his mistakes affected/are affecting billions of people. He should never have been president. But I would like to have a beer or two with him.

Step Brothers....this movie sucked. 1 out 5 stars. I wanted to like it, tried to like it, kept being just turned off with the whole thing. Just too over the top for me with the language and gross out. Don't want to get on a high horse, but I would not recommend it.

Sex in the City....Good movie 3.5 of 5 stars. I didn't want to like this movie. Tried not to like it, but did despite myself.

Fargo....rewatched this one just for kicks and giggles. Cliche to say, but what a classic.

Rudy....rewatched this one too.....got all teared up...very good

Nights in Rodanthe.....Julie watched this one. She said it was good. I basically boycott Richard Gere, so I can't say. Diane Lane is hot though, but I wanted to wretch knowing he was her love interest.